WEEK 25 Day 2 May 11th Reflection

What material experimentation have you planned for this week?
What ideas/ themes/ concerns will you explore?

This week I plan to draw my story board. I think this is a very important step for the film project. I need to understand the development of my story and evaluate my work in advance. I want to explore the connection between my previous concept and the ‘ghost’, and express the concept of the Mirror stage that I want to express and the source of the image of the ‘ghost’ clearly. In the process of researching Mark Fisher, I also learned more that many people who have grown up from the neoliberal era are naturally frustrated and negative when facing the unknown future. I think this is also a problem that plagues our generation. I also grew up under the influence of China's reform and opening up. This worry about the future stems from the formation of some ideas in our childhood. None of us in the contemporary era seem to be able to live according to our original wishes. We are always influenced by the outside world, and the environment has become a factor that affects our decisions. I think these will be the themes and points of concern for me in this week.

What research have you planned to look at this week?
Visual?

Visually, I am considering whether I need to make the way of expressing the visual element of ghost more diverse. For example, do you need to add some human elements. Or show the process of someone transforming into a ghost. How to make the visual ‘ghost’ element more closely integrated with the concept of Mirror stage? This is the part I need more research at this stage.

Material?

I have always done material innovation, but I prefer to experiment with the texture of materials in 3D modeling software. This is a very interesting experiment, but because the concept and story are more important and basic parts in this creation, I prefer to study the materials for the 3D part after the whole story is completed.

Theoretical/ conceptual?

Currently Lacan and Mark Fisher are my important reference objects. Some of the existential texts I studied before also affect me, but they are not the most important. More important is the research on Mirror Stage, which includes Lacan, Wallon and Freud. These three studies on psychoanalysis have led me to explore the concept of'self is a pseudo-self'. If this work can finally arouse people's reflection on self-cognition, then it can reflect the meaning of this work.
What texts will you read/ podcasts will you listen to?

‘Ghosts of My Life: Writings on Depression, Hauntology and Lost Futures’ (2014); Mark Fisher

‘Capitalist Realism: Is There No Alternative?’ (2009); Mark Fisher

‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’ (1915); T. S. Eliot

‘Squinting: Seeing Lacan through Popular Culture’ (2011); Slavoj Žižek

What complications/ challenges /difficulties have you encountered so far?

The biggest problem for me is that my concept is not closely related to the ghost element I want to add to the work. My tutor repeatedly emphasized that it is difficult for him to understand why I associate ghosts with Mirror Stage. This is a very serious question. If my form cannot be closely integrated with my concept, then the concept of my work may lack logic and evidence. I think this is a very serious challenge, and it is also a problem I need to solve this week.

Has your project moved in a new or unexpected direction?

Surprisingly, I discovered Mark Fisher's work. What is interesting is that the ghost he thinks is about his depression and confusion about the future. This is a completely different point of view. For me, I think he is more inclined to understand ghosts as an atmosphere and environment. In other words, it is a worrying process and feeling. This inspired me. I don't need to follow Lacan's theory to create my own work. I can add more of my own feelings and experiences, which may leave more space for the viewers to thinking.

What have you found that is really interesting or exciting about your project?

This is a cross-text study. Through the research of Lacan's Mirror stage, I visualized it to achieve what I want to express. This is a multi-dimensional project and a very interesting experiment. This is not the first time I have tried such a thing. Before again, I have tried multiple fields of integration, such as the combination of 3D modeling and actual shooting and text visualization attempts. The integration of multiple fields seems to me the most interesting in this work.

Reflection

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